The Whiny Wizard, by aNnOy

Verse 1:
One Whiny Wizard walked across the streets of Loures,
Dragging his unusually large staff as if to mark his course.

Having come unto a large crowd, he yelled,
Praise me, for I am the wizest being  that ye have ever beheld.

Paid him no heed, most of the Aislings did,
It's just another run-o-the-mill village idiot kid.

Bother the Whiny Wizard this did not,
As he continued to yell toward the lot.

Verse 2:
The Whiny Wizard clambered onto a crate,
His robes too short and his manners irate.

"All of ye troubles, that shadow thy lands,
Stem from a cabal with invisible hands!

They plot in the dark, they weave in disguise,
Controlling thy fate with manipulative lies!

Stand up! Rebel! Cast off thy chains!
Let my wisdom echo in thy refrains!"

Yet the townsfolk muttered and shook their heads,
Mumbling of rangers and their fancy threads.

Verse 3:
He flailed his arms with dramatic flair,
His eyes bugged wide in a maniacal glare.

"You're blind, you're deaf, you refuse to see,
But your Priest-And-Wizard will set you free!

This cabal-this plot-this diabolical scheme!
They poison your wells and invade your dreams!"

He pointed his staff, which wobbled and bent,
Shouting, "Rise up, or die in lament!"

But a cabbage flew through the crisp autumn air,
Landing squarely upon his disheveled hair.

Verse 4:
Yet still he pressed, his voice did not waver,
"Shun me not, for I am thy savior!

Their grip on this world is tight and vile,
And yet ye dismiss me with ridicule and guile.

Without me, you're lost, like ants in the rain,
While I am the genius to shatter your chain!"

The people of Loures, now laughing out loud,
Jeered at the wizard, their patience unbowed.

Verse 5:
Then from the back came a baker named Ted,
Who quipped with a grin and shook his head:

From the back came forth a boy named Noam,
Who cackled at the Wizard's mouth leaking foam.

"If your mind be so unparalleled,
How come not once a woman's hands have you held?"

The crowd erupted, their laughter a roar,
The Wizard turned red, his pride struck sore.

"Fools!" he screeched, his voice a keen wail,
"You're all too stupid to hear my tale!"

He stomped his feet, his robes caught a breeze,
Revealing socks that went up beyond his knees.

Verse 6:
The wizard stormed off, his staff dragging behind,
Muttering curses, "They're all too small of mind!"

But the people of Loures still toast to this day,
To the Whiny Wizard and his laughable foray.

"For what could he need such a staff so absurd?
Was he compensating? The thoughts not unheard."

And so they jest, with tankards held high,
About the Whiny Wizard and his overblown cry.

For while he proclaimed himself bold and wise,
He left the town a jest in disguise.